A Letter To My Founding Families One Year Later

Dear Founding Families,

A year ago, I sent you a letter. I told you that you were taking a chance on something that was new, something we would build together. I told you I didn't take that lightly.

I want to tell you what happened.

What I Thought Would Happen

I had a plan. I had assessments and protocols and frameworks. I had ideas about how this would unfold—how the check-ins would work, what the family meetings would look like, when decisions would need to be made.

Some of that was useful. A lot of it had to change.

You taught me it was about us and the real work doesn't fit neatly into protocols. It happens in the phone calls that weren't scheduled, the questions that came up between meetings, the moments when something shifted and we needed to talk. It happens when a daughter calls because she noticed something new and isn't sure if it matters. It happens when a spouse says, for the first time, "I'm scared."

The frameworks helped. But the relationship is what made it work.

What Actually Happened

What would have happened without this year together? That's the hard thing about prevention—we can't prove what didn’t happen. We can't point to the crisis that didn't happen and say, "See? We stopped that."

But this was the journey we both observed.

There were family conversations that had been avoided because we named a framework for understanding what was happening. We watched adult children move from fear and frustration to something closer to clarity. We watched spouses stop carrying the weight alone.

We watched decisions get made at the right time. Not too early, when they would have felt like an overreaction. Not too late, when the options had narrowed. But in that window when there was still room to choose.

Some of our families are in a different place than they were a year ago. The changes are real, and they're hard. But we're moving through them together, with a plan, instead of scrambling to react.

That's not nothing. That's the whole point.

What I Got Wrong

I want to be honest with you about what didn't work the way I expected.

I underestimated how much time the in-between moments would take—and how important they would be. The scheduled check-ins were valuable, but the unscheduled ones often mattered more. I had to adjust how I structure my time to make room for that.

I overestimated how much families would use the documentation tools I created. Turns out, most of you preferred a phone call to a form. So we talked more and documented less formally. The information still got captured—just differently than I'd planned.

You helped me see what actually matters. The model is better now because of what you taught me.

What You Gave Me

You gave me proof that this works. Proof that we can see, feel, know, and take action around. The kind that comes from watching something unfold over time, seeing it works, and learning that it matters.

You gave me stories I'll carry with me. The hard conversations you had. The decisions you made. The grace you showed each other when things got difficult. I've learned more about how families navigate this passage from walking alongside you than from twenty years of academic research.

You gave me the chance to build something with you in my hometown. That's not a small thing. Family is everything. Family is here. You made it real.

And you gave me your trust—before there was any reason to trust, before there was evidence that this would work. That's a gift I won't forget.

What Comes Next

For most of you, the journey isn't over. There are still decisions ahead, still transitions to navigate, still hard conversations to have. I'll be here for those.

For the practice, there are more families now. They found me because you told them about what we built together. Some of them are at the beginning of the path you've been walking. I'm better able to help them because of what I learned from you.

I don't know exactly what the next year holds. But I know what we did together, and I know it's working. You showed me that. Because you did, other families won't have to.

Thank you for trusting me with your family's story. Thank you for teaching me what this work actually looks like. Thank you for being patient while we figured it out.

I'm grateful. More than I can easily say.